The human mind is an incredibly durable and obnoxiously treacherous thing, betimes. My wife and I have been home with our newborn son, Colin, and our almost-2-year-old Dennis for five days now, and the older boy's sleep training has completely vanished. Between his banshee wailing at bedtime and refusal to go down gentle in his own bed, and his baby brother's persistent butt changes and feedings, we've had the kind of staccato sleep patterns reminiscent of cokeheads with expendable cash and a supply that is erratic.
Despite being on a very helpful medication for my schizophrenia, the shelling my sleep has undergone has pushed my hallucinations back into a near-constant state, one I have to actively concentrate to work around and ignore. Were I not on my Risperdal, I worry what kind of games my brain would be playing with me.
Aside from that problem, however, I must say, Dennis has been oddly sweet toward Colin for a toddler. We really were expecting the absolute worst of jealousy and nastiness, but he has been inquisitive and curious instead of combative. Yesterday, when Colin pushed out his nook (pacifier), Dennis knelt down by his chair and gently popped it back into the little guy's mouth. It was a sweet moment that I found positively elating.
Another point in the positive direction: I have an employer that is actually quite flexible as regards family/parental leave. I have one week paid leave, and up to two weeks unpaid. Now, the majority of families couldn't afford to do that, but my wife and I are fiscally quite conservative. We scrimp, scratch, and save, and have done for the last couple of years. It's how we managed to save the down payment and closing for the house, how we bought our Traverse. And, it's how I can afford to just port money over from my personal savings to cover those extra two weeks, should I opt to take them.
Personal responsibility makes a difference, friends and neighbors. Sure, none of this is the narrative discussion I prefer to indulge in, nor the high falutin philosophical dissection of mythology and folklore I'm looking forward to delving into. It's personal, family-oriented stuff, household economics. It is straightforward, lacking nuance or symbolism, and riddled with unsexy observations and points of realistic concern and perspective.
But this is just another facet of who I am, an element that I've become a little more comfortable sharing with you all. And not to worry, I'll go back to genre fiction fluff soon enough. For now, though, I leave you with this- I am a storyteller, aye, but always and ever, a father and husband first.
Thank you for understanding, and continuing to come here and give me your time.
Cheers.
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