What the Hell Was That?


The title of this piece may be a question that went through your mind if you read the last piece I put out on here, 'Sanctuary'. I can clarify pretty quickly for you- 'Sanctuary' is a nightmare/catatonic hallucination I've routinely had over the course of the last twelve to thirteen years. As I have informed readers in this space in a prior post, and in a couple of my Bitchute videos, I'm a high-functioning schizophrenic. If I seem like I'm all over the place sometimes, it's because my normal thought process doesn't operate in a classically 'organized' manner; I can be borderline furious one day over simple things, and spend the next day flinching from every shadow, genuinely convinced, in the moment, that something is about to leap out and try to replace my kidneys with Sony Walkmans.

They'd be functional, and loaded with a copy of Peter Gabriel's album 'So' and Fear Factory's 'Demanufacture'.

I've only slipped into the Sanctuary scenario a couple of times in recent years while awake, but I've dreamed it a couple of times since running out of my medication last week. There's a national shortage of it right now, and I can't expect to get a refill for another month, if I'm lucky.

But sometimes, like as happens with my Amelia City stories, I seem to be able to push these things back when I share them, talk about them, make use of them. It's not a guaranteed methodology, mind, more a 'this worked a few times before, let's hope the same principle applies and try it again here' thing.

Some minor details change sometimes during the scenario; on a few occasions, I clearly recall pressing the skull mask to my face and taking on a completely different persona, of something utterly polar to Quoth, almost his antithesis.

Sometimes, a couple of the 'angels' aren't completely dead, and my first order of business is snapping their necks to end their agony.

But usually, what you read before is how it goes. I can't begin to get into why this lengthy delusion takes place, other than to point out that the neurological oddity that is my thought process clearly doesn't operate 'clean', as it were.

I also wanted to do this follow-up to invite any questions you might have, regarding my condition, what elements of my works have been re-tooled from my years of hallucinations/delusions, or whatever other inquiries you may have. I've had it pointed out before that without specifically calling for that feedback, one is not always going to get it.

So, here I am, calling for it.